Frozen
by ice-woman
Summary: Takes place in season three (?), after episode two. Sidney is still struggling with Vaughn's marriage amongst other dilemmas.


Author's Note: This takes place after the second episode this season (season three?). I could not remember Vaughn's wife's name for the life of me, so for the sake of this story, her name is Jennifer. That being said, please r/r!

XXX

            Sidney hugged her knees tightly as she rocked slowly back and forth upon the swing on her front porch. She gazed with hungry eyes at the scenes around her. An elderly woman across the street was taking her yipping poodle for a walk, while her granddaughter helped her hand bitterly. A father and son down the block were playing catch with a plastic bat and whiffle ball. A group of six or seven teenagers strutted down the street brazenly, each chattering excitedly. A young couple holding hands strolled slowly past her house, to wrapped up in the comfort of each other to notice her envious stare…

            Sidney blinked.

            She was going to do this anymore. She had vowed not to reminisce over Michael any longer…there was no point to it, and she would only become more hurt by thinking about him every spare moment.

            But she couldn't stop. How do you go from seeing someone everyday…from talking to them everyday…from _kissing_ them everyday…to nothing. Nothing at all. It didn't seem possible, not even fathomable.

            Sidney Bristow, welcome to your life, she joked. But she couldn't crack a smile…because it was true…it was all true. Francie was dead. Will was gone. And Vaughn…Vaughn was married. She had nothing.

            Nothing, nothing, nothing.

            The word chewed at her brain, teasing and tormenting her. Any minute now she would wake up and this would all be some cruel, twisted dream. 

            But she never would wake up, because Vaughn really was married. 

            But, could she really blame him? No. And she hated that the most. Her whole life was destroyed and there was no one left to blame. It would have been much easier for her to have a reason to hate Vaughn, but she didn't. She couldn't hate him for believing that she was dead…she couldn't hate him for moving on. But she wanted nothing more than to hate him. It would have been much more preferable.            

            She sighed and walked back inside. She drew the blinds, not wanting to see anymore of the outside world. She gazed longingly at the medication a CIA physician had prescribed for her, but she was unable to take even one pill. She would have to get through this on her own; no pill could erase all of her pain. She was a fighter, and she refused to take the easy way out, even if this was the hardest battle she had ever endured.

            Perhaps she should have been used to it by now. Life. There was nothing fair about it in the least. If she was ever lucky enough to get what she wanted, it was sooner or later snatched back from her, and then dangled around in front of her face, just to ensure she knew she could never have it again. Just to salt her wounds.

            She kept replaying the same event over and over again in her mind. Meeting Vaughn's wife. Being dumb enough to pour out her heart and soul to Dixon right in front of that conniving blonde.

            Hmm…it was so easy to hate her. _So_ easy. Jennifer Vaughn. The name flowed as naturally as her bottle-blonde hair. She should have expected Vaughn would fall for someone pretty…but a Heather Locklear look-a-like? That wasn't quite what she had in mind. No wonder Vaughn had gotten over her so easily. She was nothing compared to Sorority Barbie.

            Sidney stretched out catlike across the couch, eager to take a nap. Sleep was the only place she was free of her nightmare, her life. She closed her eyes slowly, futilely attempting to erase all memory of the past week from her mind. It was no consolation, her new burden to continue living without any of her loved ones, exempting her father, was weighing down upon her more than ever before.

            She nearly screamed as her cell phone rang.

            "It's five thirty in the evening…what do you want?" she hissed.

            "Meeting," the voice on the other end replied before hanging up. She didn't need the name to know whom the call was from. 

XXX

            Sidney arrived at headquarters ten minutes later, dressed down in jeans and a green knit cardigan. She burst into the conference room, a bit annoyed to see that Dixon had started without her.

            "Sid," Dixon began. "What're you doing here?"

            Sidney was puzzled, but only for a moment. "I see. Was this meeting about me?"

            Everyone around her tensed. She noticed her father wasn't sitting there, but, much to her surprise, Jennifer was. She noted Vaughn sitting across from her, looking up at her, a strange look in his eyes. She quickly turned away.

            "Well, what's so important about me that I can't know?" Sidney demanded.

            "Sid, it's not about you," Dixon began a bit uneasily. "It's about your father."

            Everything now clicked. "What about him?" Sidney asked, dreading the answer.

            "Weis thinks he's contacting your mother again," Dixon said bluntly. "Unless someone can prove him wrong…" His eyes locked onto Sidney's and she immediately knew he was prompting her to help out in any way possible.

            "So why didn't you call me?" Sidney demanded.

            "It's nothing personal," Dixon insisted, and Sidney believed him. "It's just…all the stress you've been under lately…I didn't want to upset you any further."

            "Don't worry about me," Sidney remarked. "SD-6 trained me not to feel. I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm going to take a leaf out of Sloane's book for once." Her eyes were fixed upon Dixon, but she could feel Vaughn's own eyes penetrating through her.

            Dixon opened his mouth, Sidney was certain to protest, but then obviously changed his mind and closed it. He knew there was no arguing with Sidney when her mind was made up. She inherited her stubborn nature from her father, no doubt about it. 

            "All right," Dixon nodded. "Next order of business." Sidney took the only available seat, unfortunately next to Jennifer. "The CIA has stumbled upon some very important codes that can unlock a few of the Covenant's secrets. We need three agents to break into a hospital and retrieve them. This building is only disguised as a hospital, but the codes we need are locked in the basement floor. There's a vault you must go through and then you have to hack into the computer system. Any volunteers?"

            "I'll go," Sidney and Vaughn remarked at the same time. Dixon raised an eyebrow at Sidney. 

            "I said I'd go," Sidney insisted, glaring at him in order to ensure him that she would not be forced to back down.

            "Well, we need Marshall here to help access the computer system and passwords, and Carrie's going to track down your route and alert you as to how many agents will be guarding the areas. Sid, since your dad cannot go because of Weiss's investigation, that leaves…"

            "Me," Jennifer replied. Sidney could tell by the look on her face that it would be her first mission. 

            "Any complaints?" Dixon asked.

            "No," the five chimed in. 

            "Okay, you leave in an hour," Dixon explained. Everyone stood up and prepared to exit.

            "Sid," Dixon called. "Who told you about the meeting.

            "Vaughn," she replied. Dixon nodded and Sidney turned to leave. She then paused and turned back to him.

"Dixon," Sidney began as most of the people filed out of the room. "You knew that only Vaughn, Jennifer, and myself were the only three available for the mission, so why didn't you just assign it to us?" 

            Dixon froze. "I guess I didn't want to make it seem like I was forcing you three to work together."

            "Dixon, you don't have to…" Sidney paused. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed another figure in the room. She turned to see Vaughn still standing inside. She questioned him with a look.

            "Where is the hospital?" Vaughn asked casually, as if that had been his question all along. 

            Dixon paused; then, unable to conceal the location any longer, finally spoke. "Santa Barbara."

            Sidney's eyes met Vaughn's, but only for a second.

            "Let's roll," she said coolly, slipping past Vaughn.

TBC soon! Well, let me know what you think, so I know if I should continue. R/R!


End file.
